An episode at work:
A coworker went on to give a ‘monologue’ speech in a group chat about a bug she found in a codebase that hasn’t been touched for a year. In her quest to find out who and why the bug was there, she mentioned every single person who has ever touched the file in the chat. I watched on as some coworkers messaged me privately expressing a sense of fear and dread. At the end, she said “I don’t want to put anyone on the spot, …”.
Ah, but she just did. We don’t run people over and then tell them we didn’t want to. If we really mean what we say, we would do things differently. Words are cheap, action is the only revealing thing about one’s character.
Since I got into Stoicism, I made a habit to do a reflection when something really bothered me happened during the day. This is what I put in my journal that evening:
- I’m glad I didn’t pile on as the event was unfolding. My first response was made 30 minutes after the onset of the thread.
- As Epictetus put it: “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak”
- Rage is like fire, it swallows everything as fuel, reasons included. Avoid giving reasons for someone’s rage
- Words are cheap, but they hurt. Like most crimes are not committed with a gun, but with a pocket knife.
- Keynes: “In the long run, we are all dead”. We are all here temporarily, marching towards the same destination. Be kinder to our fellow journeymen.
- Marcus Aurelius: “Memento mori: you could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say”
Seattle, March 26, 2024